No Difference Between A Nigerian Governor And A House Wife

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It is quite possible that before now, not many people took
their time to consider that there is no doubt that governing a state in Nigeria
has been reduced to one of the most unduly simplified jobs which does not
necessarily require an average intelligence or any special qualities to
perform.

Or, put another way: the overly simplistic interpretation
most Nigerian governors have given their jobs has so much reduced it to such a
very unchallenging assignment that it no longer requires any special
preparation or endowments to execute; in fact, any God damn fellow can just walk
in there and encumber the ground for another four years, and that would be all.

But my hope is that those who will emerge as governors in
2023 will hasten to realize that a growing number of Nigerians are beginning to
develop a highly critical taste and greater degree of discrimination in their
assessment of governance, and have indeed lost significant patience for the
old, perfunctory and uncreative way of doing things. Every indication shows
that more and more Nigerians are no longer content to merely watch their rulers
grope and wallow in confusion and directionlessness in the face of humongous
problems requiring urgent intervention, and indeed may go a step further with
proactive actions to demand accountability from them.

This realization ought to motivate our future governors to
hasten to excuse themselves from any post election bacchanals and devote
quality time to fully appreciate the gravity of the very high office they
aspire to occupy and the high cost this time around of dismal outing. Now, let’s
look at what it presently means to be a state governor in Nigeria. Indeed,
shorn of all the glamour, pomp and noisy convoys, what can we really say is the
difference between what house wives do for their families and what state
governors do in their respective states in Nigeria? The answer, if I am asked,
should be obvious, but I am very reluctant, for a very obvious reason, to
answer it with just one word: None!

Certainly, I do not
want to start my day with placard-wielding house wives thronging the frontage
of my small house, protesting the grave insult of an unfair comparison. And so,
I’ll be fair. But first, let’s look at one clear similarity; a husband labours,
earns some money, invites his wife and gives her the “monthly house keep
allocations” for the family. Nigeria also takes its God- given oil, markets it,
and then representatives of State Governors are invited to Abuja, to cart away
their own “Federation monthly allocations” for the upkeep of their respective
states. So, is there any difference?

Yes, I think there still is. At least, we now have wives who
are no longer comfortable with being just housewives but go out to work hard to
help diversify the sources of income for their families, unlike the governors
whose only understanding of governance is, like housewives of old, to sit at
home and eagerly await the monthly allocation from the federation account, a
fraction of which they spend to make some impressions here and there, and then
call a press conference or buy spaces in national newspapers to showcase their
“wonderful performances.” They execute N2,000.00 work and advertise it for
deceit at N1million! It is really a great tragedy. Now, tell me: why should any
governor with any brain in his skull, and the slightest hint of self-esteem,
expect a serious person to clap or cheer him for just renovating (or even, in
most cases, merely repainting) few school buildings and filling a couple of
potholes on few roads? Even if he builds brand new roads, new schools and
hospitals, has he done anything extraordinary for cheering? Shouldn’t all those
form part of his routine duty? What special intelligence or endowment is
required to do that?

By the way, what is he supposed to do with the monthly
billions he carts away from Abuja? Hide them in his bedroom, and then begin to
use them to gallivant about town, to increase his number of girlfriends and
leisure spots? Now, what extraordinary talent is required to pay salaries to
workers (out of the money duly packaged and given to a full grown adult) or
clean up a few streets? Even a kindergarten pupil can do better than that!
Please, let’s stop turning ourselves into objects of derision before sensible
and civilized people over there.

Now, assuming oil was not flowing beneath us, and so no
monthly allocations or “excess crude earnings” to share, what then would be the
work of a state governor in a federal state like Nigeria? Or, are we to take it
that no one would agree to become a governor if such a situation, exist?
Whatever happened to great ideas and insights and inspire well throughout
policies for the creation of jobs, opportunities and wealth with which talented
administrators are distinguished? Why has Nigeria reduced governance to mere
routine assignments like provision of power, portable water, roads, fertilizers,
medicines and exercise books for pupils? So, if one pays his children’s school
fees or fuels his car or feeds his family, he should be applauded for ‘great achievements’, even though it was
from his sweat unlike that of governors that merely receive theirs without
laboring? Do our so called leaders ever bother to listen to the vision
statements of their colleagues in other climes outside Nigeria?

Well, what more can I say? I was making some points the
other day and somebody I consider an illiterate sycophant looked at me straight
in the face and bellowed: You should be grateful that there are some governors
who are even willing to spend some bits of the monthly federation allocation to
fill potholes and repair school buildings; what about those who don’t bother to
do anything, though they also receive the monthly federation allocation? What
are you going to do about that? So, just praise those who agree to do
something. Can you beat that? Does anyone see what our country has become? May
be, Nigeria would become better if the governors are immediately replaced with
housewives – even the uneducated, rustic ones. Indeed, most husbands have
little or nothing to complain about how their wives manage the “monthly up-keep
allocations” in the homes.

They return virtually every day grateful that their homes
are in good hands, and that virtually everything that ought to be done had been
done. The housewives not only buy into their husbands’ visions and aspirations
for the prosperity of the homes, they also generate their own ideas which any
husband spurns to his own hurt, and would readily contribute their own lot to
ensure the realization of those ideas. But what the majority of our governors
do is to just sabotage our hopes and aspirations with their boundless greed and
callousness. They can be likened to irresponsible housewives who alienate
themselves from their husband’ good dreams and ensure they never come to
fruition. Instead of- investing the “monthly allocations” to move the home
forward, irresponsible housewives stash them away to prosecute their selfish
agendas. This is the situation in many states in Nigeria today.

It is sad that most Nigerians do not think too highly of
their governors but regularly dismiss them as mostly wayward and underemployed;
fellows that are incapable of thinking beyond how to secure their personal
comforts and leisure.

I’m not bothered about what praise singers and bootlickers
may say, but several of our governors have failed us so much that one keeps
wondering if Nigeria’s political class is capable of ever producing more than
very few committed, altruistic and visionary leaders with sound, workable
ideas.

Some of them appear so blank and unprepared that one is left
wondering whether they were just woken up from sleep and told to become
governors. One searches in vain for the slightest hint that many of those
governors ever lose any sleep because of the enormous problems plaguing their
states; men without the gravity of mind to appreciate the enormity and even
sacredness of the high responsibility placed on their shoulders. Honestly,
majority of them were wretched and poor but now successful merchants.

All these must change beginning from 2023. Incoming
governors should see the building of roads, provision of portable water, electricity,
hospitals and schools as mere routine duties, just like somebody waking up from
sleep to brush his teeth. From 2019, any governor that supplies fertilizers or
tractors or houses to motivate the people and goes to buy newspaper pages to
advertize as great achievements must be compelled to pay for the advertorial
from his personal saving! The intellectual bankruptcy and mediocrity that
classifies such routine efforts as “great achievements” to be applauded should
be hastily consigned to our inglorious past.

Governors should be thinking of how to grow the economy of
their respective domains by judiciously husbanding the natural and human
resources available to create wealth and jobs. They should hasten to identify
the mineral deposits in their domains, create enabling environments and the
right policies, and engage the relevant agencies, corporations and investors in
constructive and beneficial deliberations to see how the deposits and
opportunities can be exploited to drive the economy of their states to create
prosperity, mass employment and better life for the people.

We must do away with the old retrogressive style and adopt a
more creative approach to governance for the good of all not unnecessary
overseas tours under the guise of shopping for foreign investors or signing
Memorandum of Understanding, Mou that has changed nothing. For instance, in
Bauchi state, since 1999, not a single foreign investment was witnessed but the
governors had several overseas trips for the ‘purpose’. Should we allow such a
jamboree to continue? It is all a deceit and a frau. In some cases, it is money
laundering in disguise.

Muhammad is a commentator on national issues