What Would You Do If Your Partner Refused To Tell You Who They Voted For?

Timilehin Akinkahunsi

Political differences sometimes lead to misunderstanding between partners in marriage. One might want their spouse to share the same political ideology or even vote for the same candidates. Meanwhile, voting is considered as personal, which is why many countries use a secret ballot, to protect the political privacy of voters and prevent them from being intimidated. In that case, what if your partner, with whom you swore not to have any secrets refused to tell you who they voted for? Saturday PUNCH asked a cross-section of Nigerians this question and here are their responses

 I will persuade her to tell me – Ponle Alabetutu

Sincerely, I will persuade her to tell me; but if she insists and still refuses to tell me, I won’t feel bad about it. I am liberal, so she has the right to vote for whoever she desires. Even if I had convinced her to vote for my preferred candidate, and she refused to do so, I would not feel bad because I am not a dictator. On a lighter note, I may eventually insist she tells me so that I’ll mock her if her candidate fails to perform well after assuming the political office.

I won’t be bothered – Chioma Odoemelam

I will not be bothered and it will not change anything. I won’t force him to tell me if he doesn’t want to do so. Even if I try to convince him to be on the same page with me, and he doesn’t want it, I can only laugh over it. I will not instruct him to vote for any particular candidate because he is a mature person with his personal sense of responsibilities and right of choice.

We have equal rights – Ubon Asuquo

I believe that my spouse is a partner and not a maid, so if she doesn’t want to tell me who she voted for, I won’t feel bad. As a partner, we have equal rights. That equality includes the right to make personal decisions on political issues. I may tell my wife who I voted for, but I won’t try to influence her to vote for the candidate of my choice. From my experience, my wife always tells me who she would vote for. In most cases, our choices are always similar. She is well educated and our values are similar, so I am not surprised.

I personally think partners do not have to be on the same page on political issues. However, it takes maturity to accept that even when two people are married to each other; they may still see things differently.

Even though I won’t do anything, I’ll feel bad – Tamuno Allison

I will feel bad because we tell each other everything; so I am supposed to know who he voted for. If he doesn’t tell me, I won’t do anything about it, I will respect his decisions. He might have a reason why he refused to tell me who he voted for. I won’t even insist he tells me to avoid creating problems in our home because of politics. Election has to do with an individual’s choice; we all have our different views.

We’ll joke about it – Tijani Abdulsalam

Even before any election, it is normal for anyone to know their partner’s choice of candidate. If she refused to tell me who she voted for, I would not feel bad about it and it would not be necessary for me to insist she tells me who she voted for.

The power of conviction is the essence of politics; there are different reasons why my wife may choose to vote for a different candidate other than mine. For example, my wife’s mum holds an elective position on the platform of a party different from where my allegiance lied; she was torn between going with her mum and going with me. Eventually, she chose her mum. It was never an issue; we joked about it and prayed that the best person should win. However, it is cool if partners are on the same page on election matters, but if they are not, it’s no deal breaker.

It won’t be a problem – Cera Obaje-Osagie

I trust my husband to make the right choice. Whoever he votes for is right. It won’t be a problem if he chooses not to tell me. Being on the same page when it comes to political issues largely depends on the couple. The power to make or mar a country largely depends on the leaders. Interestingly, my husband and I have different choices in this year’s elections. My husband is permitted to vote for whoever he thinks is the right candidate for a position. The power to make choices has been given to us, and I see no reason why one should take that away from people on certain matters like politics because of marriage.

I’ll respect her decision – Iyanuoluwa Jesulowo

It is her personal choice and if she doesn’t want to tell me who she voted for, I will respect her decision. She has her fundamental human right as a human being to vote for whosoever she chooses. If she voted against my candidate, it simply means she wasn’t convinced that my candidate would do well. However, I feel couples should always be on the same page when it comes to political issues; it will foster unity between them and strengthen their bond.

I will feel disappointed – Tosin Olayiwola

I will feel disappointed. I feel I am entitled to know who he voted for. We are one, so there are some things he shouldn’t hide from me. If he refused to tell me, there is absolute nothing I can do about it because it’s his choice. We have come a long way, and we have disagreed on a lot of issues in the past, which never threatened our love. However, I may later insist he tells me his choice of candidate. Politics can be tricky, so when it comes to marriage, it is advisable for partners to be on the same page. Although, these days with the way politics is being practised, there are a lot of disagreements between partners over political issues.

I would be confused – Okotie Udemebraye

I would be confused because if we are partners and she can’t tell me who she voted for, I would see it as weird. I wouldn’t force her to tell me though; I would be more interested in the reason why she doesn’t want to tell me. If I had tried to convince her to vote for a particular candidate and she refused, I would believe she simply doesn’t believe in the candidate of my choice and that is the beauty of democracy.

I will not play with him in bed – Lawal Oluwaferanmi

I will really feel bad about it and I will not play with him in bed.  He has to do what I want to avoid problem in our marriage.  He has to tell me who he voted for because we are one; he shouldn’t hide anything from me.