Dear Tekno: You are hereby pronounced a terrorist by FG

Dear Tekno,

How are you doing? We hear the Federal Government is set to make you a Scapegoat.

Augustine Kelechi are you ready to become a Scape Goat?

Do you know your crime?

It’s said you went public with a mobile strip club. Okay, not an exact strip club but something like that.

The report says you were shooting a music video in Lagos and had scenes of four semi-nude women dancing in a moving van on the Lekki-Ikoyi Link Bridge in Lagos.

Is it true?

Were the ladies actually semi-naked?

What was the concept about?

Okay, those were rhetorical questions.

I saw the clip when it first dropped on social media. And I also saw the four-minute music video when you released it on YouTube.

You were also in the glass-transparent van spraying hard currencies at the ladies. It was yummy.

Some delicious visuals for guys and people who like things like that.

But according to the Director-General, National Council for Arts and Culture, a parastatal of the Federal Ministry of Information and Culture, Segun Runsewe, many people didn’t think it was yum yum.

He said a lot of persons called him to wonder how terrible we have allowed immorality to become part of our culture.

You were also labelled a Terrorist for that act.

Wait. I want to laugh small.

Wait…

Okay, I read that your conduct poses a threat to our national security.

Please, this is funny. Allow me to laugh, please.

Ye!!!

My belle ooooh!!!

Ok. Let’s do this, back to the matter.

The chairman said…

“Since the offensive Tekno scam video came to the limelight, I have received hundreds of telephone calls and SMS from Nigerians at home and others in the United Kingdom, United States, Canada and other parts of the world querying why such anomalies would be tolerated in Nigeria”

Tekno see how you have attracted international attention? Especially in the UK, USA, and Canada?

Just go and do a free tour to appease them in that region. And be sure to go there with well-dressed women.

Don’t be terrorizing us with thick black asses. I have always known the black woman’s ass is a weapon. I just didn’t know it was also the bomb!

The Bomb!!!

You can’t be dropping those bombs on our highways.

Not even for some music video creativity.

If you did this in a private estate perhaps there will be no issue. Your defense would have been that you made a public notice and told adults to ensure their underage kids and wards were protected from the nuclear test videos.

And they won’t have been able to evoke Section 134 (a) of the 2015 Criminal Law of Lagos State against you.

The law stipulates that an indecent act in a public place would make both parties engaging in the act liable to imprisonment for two years.

Section 136 also states that any person, who commits any act of gross indecency with another person in public, commits an offense and is liable upon conviction to three years imprisonment.

So those laws are there to protect our public space from all threats of attack, including that caused by the black woman’s butt.

I never knew the government cared about our wellbeing this much.

And there are traders who still display their porn CD wares at strategic junctions. In places were school kids pass to and fro.

Well, maybe those ones are too poor to be considered by the law. Since this chairman here said you will be a scapegoat so others know that no one is too rich to be above the law.

Anyways.

The controversy is getting you more YouTube views.

Your Nude Nose spotter,

Ediale

#ForTheCulture

PS: But seriously lets be guided though. Too much of everything is quite bad. And we should be considerate. We have the conservatives and the kids too in our space.

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