COMEDY comingles with tragedy in brilliant Technicolor in this magical land. It feels like the last days of the old Roman Empire. Just when you think you have had enough of tragedy some amazing comic relief comes your way willy-nilly. Just as yours sincerely was taking a delightful snooze and catching up on newspapers after the dreadful developments of last weekend, Okon and Baba Lekki shambled into the master bedroom early on Friday both reeking of stale palm wine and bush meat.
But more alarming is the fact that they were both carrying a huge bundle of premium grade Atori whips or what is known in ancient Yoruba lingo as pasan. The whole house suddenly looked as if it was about to be invaded by a bicentennial egungun or one of those dreaded ancestral terrorists whose mere presence provoked spine-chilling fright.
“Okon, what is going on? Are you now a follower of Alapansanpa or Anikulapa?” yours sincerely demanded eyeing the duo with restrained mirth.
“Ha, oga, no be like dat at all at all. I no dey follow dem yeye Yoruba masquerade . He get time like dat when police come arrest one like dat for Mushin becos him dey fire ganja for corner. As dem dey take am to station he come dey cry say , ha ara orun nlo, ara orun nlo, so dem people ask him to shut up, abi no be from heaven him say he come from?” Okon sniggered.
Okon, I hear you. But what is this occasion? Why all these whips?” snooper asked trying to prevent himself from bursting into wild laughter.
“Oga I wan quickly reach dem Abuja. Dem yeye honourable and sanitor don dey misbehave again. Dem say make I come be dem chief whip.So, I wan go wire dem well well. He get one of dem like dat from Adamawa who dey slap women any how. When I wire him well well him go smell him own buttock catch fire. That boy with wuruwuru hair I been dey fear make him no come slap Senator Oluremi. Na mad dog and na me go cure him madness”, Okon raved.
“But Okon what is your own in this matter? What is your locus standi?” snooper demanded no longer able to withhold a ringing laughter.
“Oga several times I don tell you say locusts no dey stand. Dem dey bite. Na Yoruba people who no fit fight dem mala dey say locust dey stand. You see, enjoyment and feferity don finish Yoruba people. Make dem no try nonsense with mala becos mala no dey carry last”, Okon crowed with malice as snooper pushed out the delinquent duo.
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