Posted by By Funmi Johnson on
Gone are the days when not being married is a stigma, especially when you get to a certain age. Every one who cares will ask when you are going to bring home Mr. Right.....
Gone are the days when not being married is a stigma, especially when you get to a certain age. Every one who cares will ask when you are going to bring home Mr. Right. Nowadays though, the reverse is the case as you have a lot of women above thirty who are unmarried, and for them the world is not coming to an end. For these women, getting married is not the end of the world and it hasnít stopped them from looking after themselves and having fun.
There are several reasons why an increasing number of women at forty are unmarried. The increased interest in education is one major factor. In those days, most ladies did not spend as much time as they now do in educational pursuit. Today, women go the extra mile to become intellectually capable in their chosen careers.
For others, situations like these arise due to their past experiences with men. Some may also be products of failed marriages and relationships. Others may have vouched they will never be tied to, or be serious with any man in life. They crave for their freedom and also aim at avenging their past on the future.
When asked her opinion, 38-year-old Omolara Williams, a medical doctor in one of the big hospitals in Lagos, responded thus; ďMarriage is not a do or die affair. You donít have to kill yourself over it, after all, to me, the essence of marriage is having children and I donít believe I am under any compulsion to be married before having a child of my own. If marriage comes, fine, and if not, the world is not coming to an end.Ē
Sometimes, the craving for independence from men, perhaps, as a result of past experiences may affect some womenís views on marriage. Many, like Omolara Williams, believe one can have children and raise them without being married.
ďMarriage to me is like being caged, if not for the sake of having children, I donít see any necessity for it. I for one, I canít agonize myself simply because I want to be married. I leave it to God.Ē That was 35-year-old Juliet, a company secretary in a communication company in Ojodu, Lagos.
Forty-two-year-old Nene Bassey, a business woman and mother of two who resides in Ikeja, told Allure that; ďIn this life, some are destined to marry while some are not. Marriage is not compulsory as long as you have your job and the money, you can always get whatever you want at any time, even the men will come crawling. For me, after going through all I have with men, I donít think I will want to be tied to any man in the name of marriage because, I donít think its worth it. I have the money to take care of myself and my kids and to God be the glory we are doing fine. Men have been coming but, I really donít want to be tied to any man any more because they are not just worth it. The only thing that could make me want to be tied to a man is having children and, I have a boy and a girl, so what more do I need a man for? Iím just ok the way I am.Ē
On a global scale, Newsweek sponsored a research in 1976, in which it reported that 2% of women from forty years old and above have a chance of ever getting married. Indeed, the report compared their chances of finding a life partner to a chance of being hit by a terrorist. However, thirty years on, Newsweek was forced to redo its story as research now show that 20% of unmarried women of forty years and above have a chance of finding a partner of their choice.
There is now an increasing number of women, especially celebrity women above forty who are still unmarried, most of whom are single mothers. This is gradually becoming a trend.
So many reasons have been responsible for this trend. One of such is that 40 is now the new 30 and so, most women at that age are having such great fun that they are unwilling to let the ball into the goal post.
Another reason is that most forty-year-olds do not look their ages and so, they feel time is very much on their side. For some, time spent in academic pursuit delays the choice of settling down, while for others, Mr. Right just hasnít walked through the door. In a way, these women are only saying that, you donít have to be married to become successful in life.
There are many celebrity women who are yet to tie the knot, and they are celebrated and enjoying it.
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