Posted by By AGAPTUS ANAELE on
The greatest burden HIV positive persons bear is the worry of procreation. Will the baby be free of the killer virus? Or, as the scripture teaches, will the "sins of the parents be visited on the child?" Indeed, the fear arises from the misconception that having an HIV positive mother, for instance, give birth to an HIV negative baby is only comparable to a horse passing through the eye of a needle.
•Doc says baby uninfected
The greatest burden HIV positive persons bear is the worry of procreation. Will the baby be free of the killer virus? Or, as the scripture teaches, will the "sins of the parents be visited on the child?" Indeed, the fear arises from the misconception that having an HIV positive mother, for instance, give birth to an HIV negative baby is only comparable to a horse passing through the eye of a needle.
Little wonder many PLWAS (Persons Living With AIDS) reportedly suffer depression and self-inflicted stigma.
But before wallowing in such ignorance, listen to the good news from this HIV couple that is expectant.
Though medics say there is no technology yet to determine the HIV status of the foetus (unborn child), a Consultant Hematologist at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), Idi-Araba, Dr Suleiman Akanmu, told Sunday Sun that over 50 per cent of babies born by HIV positive mothers arrive without the virus.
Curious, isn't it?
Dr. Akanmu offers explanation: "The spermatozoa, which is the cell that meets the woman's egg for the formation of the zygote is HIV free. There is a difference between the sperm and spermatozoa. The sperm may contain HIV while the former may not. Most of the babies do not get infected because the placenta further shields the foetus from getting infected by the mother. It is only when the placenta cracks that the mother can infect the foetus. In fact, most of the infections in the baby occur during birth, when there is an interaction of mother's blood with the baby's. That is why many times we resort to surgery to reduce the risk of infection," Akanmu said.
The couple
Actually, Mr. and Mrs. Ekpe have been married for five years. They were about the first HIV couple that publicly demystified the stigma associated with being HIV positive when they declared their intention to settle down as husband and wife in 2001. Their union made newspapers headlines. And the woman, Yinka, won $50,000 Reebok Award in 2004.
Yinka and her heartthrob, Commander Nsikak Ekpe started their affair in 1997, but finally sealed the bond in December 2001. Today, they are a source of hope for many that think that being HIV positive is a death sentence.
First meeting
'We met in 1997 at a conference in Kaduna. In fact, then I didn't want to hear anything like marriage. He proposed to me a year later, but I delayed to accept because I wanted to be sure of what I was going into. I considered whether it would be possible for us to have healthy babies. Secondly, I had to be sure that that was what I wanted because I had set some goals for myself.
Tribal differences
Yes, for example, I am Yoruba and my husband is from Akwa Ibom State. The age difference too is an issue, but one thing kept us going, the fact that we had what we wanted, and we are sincere to each other.
Sex life
Sex is everybody's fundamental right, but it is advisable to always practice safe sex. Even if you are HIV positive couple, you must practice safe sex. That means you must continually use condom, because if you don't, you can re-infect each other or increase one another's viral load. It is only if couples are looking for a baby that they can have sex without condom and immediately the baby stays, they should return to safe sex techniques.
In fact, safe sex is more expedient if you are tempted to play away match, because you do not know what you will meet outside. If you have HIV 1 and go unprotected, you may get HIV 2, syphilis and that will worsen your problem.
For me, the only man I know is my husband and our sex life has not suffered because of HIV.
Normal life with HIV
I want people to understand that HIV is not a problem any more. It is a situation that somebody can adapt to, and still live a normal life. People who are positive should not get angry and start spreading the virus. No, it is wrong, wicked. If you plan to live, no matter what the condition is, you will live. But if you have made up your mind to die, death will of course come.
One can avoid getting infected because HIV is no fun. If you have it, a lot of turn around takes place in your life. For instance, you have to abstain from alcohol, cigarette, improve your personal hygiene and all that. Again, you have to avoid mosquito bites because as the immune system is weak, every opportunity that infection gets, it attacks the body."
Pregnancy
According to her, "The delay in getting pregnant was intentional for some years, but when we were ready, the baby just refused to come (laughter)!
"The reason we didn't want it (pregnancy) immediately was that HIV positive couples need to have their viral load at a non-detectable level. Then we didn't start drugs immediately. When we started, it created enabling environment for the baby to come, but it refused to come, until now that the baby says okay, ‘it is time to come (laughter)!'"
Marriage tonic
According to Yinka, friendship and truthfulness kept her and hubby going.
"Both of us are best of friends. We are very close, anytime anybody sees us, that is the first thing they observe. And not only that, we have been a source of hope and inspiration to each other. He (husband) used to say something to me in those days, even before we got married. ‘Yinka, I want you to believe that cure will come, but if you die, nobody will come and wake your corpse to come and benefit from the cure, so we both have to do everything to stay alive', and that is what we are doing. We are also trying to encourage others," she said jokingly.
Wrong to spread virus
It hasn't been a strange thing to both of us, because we were friends and we are still very good friends. That has made it easier. Again, for every relationship, people should not believe that because I am positive, so it is automatic to marry someone who is positive, no! It is all about what you want. Is he a friend, is he somebody you believe you can get married to. We both had the opportunity of marrying people who were negative and who knew about our HIV status.
But we are together today, because God ordained our union. So in everything, we should be truthful. You don't keep infecting others when you are positive. Most singles do that, and they feel that once you infect somebody, you can get married to the person. It doesn't work that way.