Posted by Buzz Flash on
I read a disturbing story about you in the news the other day, and I'm writing today to offer my help. The story described how your popularity has plummeted recently: "[this week the) pollsters [arel recording a 38% approval rating - rockbottom for Mr. Bush."
ETHAN RIDER
October 22,2005
Mr. George W. Bush
President of the United Stales
The White House
Washington D.C. 20500
Dear Mr. President.
I read a disturbing story about you in the news the other day, and I'm writing today to offer my help. The story described how your popularity has plummeted recently: "[this week the) pollsters [arel recording a 38% approval rating - rockbottom for Mr. Bush."
Now I don't know about Washington, but when rnorale drops at Trader Joe's (where I work), the first thing we do is assess the leader - so perhaps an anecdote will help...
A little while ago. my Trader Joe's store got a new "captain" (the leader), and initially, about 51
percent of the people supported the decision to bring her in (sound familiar?). Unfortunately, after
a short while, most of the people realizes what a poor decision they had made, and they all became
unhappy. Shortly thereafter, OUR employees took a Gall up poll, focused on productivity and morale, and it revealed OVERWHELMINGLY that the captain's approval rating was in the gutter (sound familiar?)
What was Trader Joe's solution, you ask? Send the captain to a different store! After all, maybe with a new group of employees, a fresh batch of customers, and a new localion. all the problems will just disappear!
So I guess what I'm trying to say is - since my captain's experience is so similar to yours - maybe you should follow the Tiader Joe's example and just seek a new location in which to be successful! It not like you're a bad person... your strategy just doesn't work here! Fortunately, I just read a great article on exatly this subject! You see, before the elections last years, a few surveys were conducted. and it turns out that among traditional U.S. allies, you have a great worldwide body of support! (in only: Nigeria, Poland, and the Philippines)2
Sir, the Traders Gallup poll revealed that in 11 out of 13 categories (85 percent), our store's number dropped significantly, implicating the leader. Regardless, relocalion of the captain was the answer. In your case, 32 out of 55 countries (91 percent ) preferred somebody (anybody) else's leadership to yours. So why not use the same solution as Trader Joe's to gel back on top?
To stop beating around the bush, sir...
Please move to Nigeria. Poland, or the Philippines as soon as possible
It just might turn out to be the best career-move you've ever made - a new location, an attentive audience ...a fresh start! If you're unsure, just look to Trader Joe's for inspiration! (C'mon - cabernet sauvignon for $1.99 - they've got to be doing something right!).
Please contact me if I can facilitate things in any way,
Ethan Rider
loveofdemocracy@yahoo.com