Posted by Folake Aina on
Have you ever been in a situation where your man had another woman, and you heard about it, and the only thing on your mind was seeing the other woman.
Have you ever been in a situation where your man had another woman, and you heard about it, and the only thing on your mind was seeing the other woman. You want to know what she looks like. You want those around you to make you feel better by telling you that you are prettier and better than the other woman.
You must believe that no matter how beautiful any woman is, there are still women who are prettier. But you must have the confidence that you are unique. You are his best. There is no competition. The other women were out there when he chose you over them. There just has to be something about you that no-one else has. The truth is, he is with her. What pushed him there in the first place? How did she get him? How do you get your man back? I am only being realistic. I know many women don't agree with me. Majority believe that if they catch their man in an affair with another man , that is the end. They are out of the relationship. That does really make sense. I would say, every woman must do her best to prevent it from happening. It is hard work. Like I always say, stay above competition. But when it happens what do you do?
I know of a woman who dumped her husband because he had an affair with some other woman. That to her was a breach of the trust they had in the relationship. The man was so sorry, he offered heaven and earth to this woman, and swore he would never do that to her all her life, but she could not forgive him. Many years out of that relationship, she ended up with a ,man who already had two wives. Does that make any sense to you? She looks back now, and wished she had forgiven that man that cheated on her.
I am not saying that it is alright for a man to cheat in a relationship. I am saying if you got careless, and it happened, he is back home and sorry, I don't know. But I do think there is a place for forgiveness.
Most of our errors about how to forgive arise from fear. Fear that if he hurt you once, you risk a second hurt by staying around. Remember the times in your life when you wronged others. You wronged even your spouse, and you were forgiven. Forgiveness is a tool which maintains the marriage or relationship against the shocks of wrong doing.
Because adultery strikes at the core of the relationship, I know that forgiveness is hardly your first response. You must not suppress your emotions, or pretend like you don't care. When you decide to forgive, your forgiveness must be accomplished with courage and severe honesty. Against your own wisdom, you might find yourself imagining the details of his adultery - the room, the bed, the words she must have murmured, the way he must have touched her. You begin to wonder if he was intimate with her like he is to you. The thoughts go on and on if you don't control them, and you develop anger and possibly hatred that you didn't think you were capable of harboring. If you don't control your thoughts, and stop imagining all these things, soon, you begin to blame yourself, and you get so angry, forgiveness is the last thing on your mind. You begin to feel humiliated. You must release those thoughts to yourself and your spouse if healing must take place, and you must choose to forget them if you must forgive. You must speak clearly the effect of his atrocity, and tell him what effect it has on you. If he is repentant and sorry, put it all behind you, and start a new relationship with him.
Don't wait for your spouse to fall into temptation. Be the best for him. Leave him no excuse for messing around. Be an all rounder in everything that pertains to marriage. Don't be too possessive, monitoring him like you were his mother. Look good yourself. Take care of everything that has to with marriage.. ..The home, your clothes, his clothes, the children, etc
These men need help. Pray for him. He is just a man. He is not as strong as you in that area.
This thing you can handle. You are a woman. I know you can forgive. You have that forgiving spirit in you naturally.
Make home for him a place he looks forward to coming to. Many women to not share the interest of their spouse. That leaves them with little or nothing to do together. If he likes football get interested in the game. Watch movies together. Make sure that you both communicate. A woman heard that her husband was having an affair with his secretary. She cried day in and day, day out. She became a nervous wreck. At the end of the day, she begins to look like his mother. He eventually left her for the other woman. You don't get a man to reason with you. That word pity is not in his dictionary. That is not the language the men understand. You must be strong.