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We need husbands, but men not forthcoming’

Posted by By JOSSY IDAM & SAMUEL OLATUNJI on 2008/06/30 | Views: 2947 |

We need husbands, but men not forthcoming’

“In that day, seven women will take hold one man and say, ‘we will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace.’”

•Doctors warn about late marriages

“In that day, seven women will take hold one man and say, ‘we will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace.’”
The above passage is taken from the Holy Bible, specifically Isaiah 4: 1.

Prophetically, the day or era under reference, it would seem, is here. Indeed, never before than now have women been so worried about getting married, even doing untoward things to earn the prefix – Mrs.

With 140 million people, sex ratio of Nigeria’s population does not put women at a disadvantage. Yet there seems to be some sort of role reversal, as women now confront men with the question: “Will you marry me?”

So what is the problem? Why the scramble? Where are the eligible bachelors? Who would mop up the legion of ladies that scramble for the bouquet at the end of each wedding ceremony?
The situation has, in fact, taken a desperate dimension as a crop of
beautiful and successful women allege conspiracy by bachelors to keep them guessing. Consequently, they would not cease to bemoan the seeming unwillingness by eligible bachelors to propose marriage.
The bachelors, Sunday Sun learnt, are “made, ripe and ready” but refrain from proposing. They date the girls around serially but foot-drag, decline to take any of the heartthrobs to the altar or marriage registry and pronounce the noble words: “I do”.

Hiring and firing
The obviously heartbroken girls also accuse the foot-loose fellows of “fancy free” and engaging in “adding and dropping”. Disclosing in intimate details how a guy she had gone out with for over two years “dumped” her, a lady who only gave her pet name as “Mimi” said. “The guy at first told me we were getting married. I opened my heart to him, gave him my love and my all but just when I thought we were settling down, he brought in another girl and threw me out.”
Feeling cheated and hard-done-by, Mimi angrily flared up: “Look, men are not serious any more. They prefer hanging out with different girls but not keen on settling down. They only taste and go.”

Wrong move
For not easily explained reason, the old guys are flying without perching. Empress Njamah, an actress believes the guys are scared of getting into the wrong hands. Said she: “They are scared of settling down with the wrong babes. And it’s also affecting the women. Men should change their mentality. For those thinking of money before marriage, they should know that most women want to marry love before money.”

Cossy Orjiakor, believes marriage can be daunting for a man who doesn’t have enough materially. “He has to think of shelter for his family, and you know, babies too will have to be taken care of,” she said. Considering herself lucky, as she claims to receive a lot of marriage proposals every week, Cossy explained that good looking, rich men find it difficult to decide who they want because, “a lot of girls chase them and say yes.”
As though settling down to her is an oddity, Cossy told Sunday Sun: “It’s only the average people who are getting married now.”

Fear of commitment
Big Brother Africa first runner-up, Ofunneka Molokwu says men are scared to make commitment. “They’re scared to commit themselves to something they are not sure of, and I think it’s affecting women as well,” she said.
Single and still-searching, the affable celebrity sees marriage as a game of chance -something that has 50 per cent probability of not working. She attributes the trend to high divorce rate and prevalence of broken homes. “If you look around, most families are either separated or divorced. So, men are bidding their time rather than rush in and rush out soon,” she lectured.
One of the hot cake bachelors on the entertainment scene, Segun Obe shares the same concern with Ofunneka. Hear him: “You have to be sure of what you‘re doing and be sure that you will not rush out of it.”

Shot gun option
As a way out of this dicey situation, Ofunneka revealed that a lot of ‘ripe women’ are having kids out of wedlock. Though she decline to disclose if she was considering the shot gun option, she however told Sunday Sun that running a relationship is a huge stress. To get by, she said: “People now procreate -have kids out of wedlock and raise them single-handedly.”

Fools rush…
Funke Akindele, an actress feels that only fools rush into a place where angels fear to go into. To her, the lull in marital affairs is attributable to the impatience of women. “Most single ladies compare themselves to married women and start getting worried. I think it’s this comparison that gives the impression of scarcity of husbands,” she said, praying to God Almighty to give her a man of her own.
Another star actress, Ronke Ojo, alias Oshodi Oke, thinks husbands abound. “I don’t believe men are scarce. If I want to marry four husbands tomorrow, I can comfortably do so,” she boasted.

Drowned by number
A police officer, Jonathan Osaze told Sunday Sun that women far out-number men, and this, to him, explains why all of them can’t be married. “The good ones are few and that’s the reason we take our time. No man would like to rush into it and regret later.”

Stifling economy
A gospel artiste and chronic bachelor, Sammie Okposo, have kept the girls guessing over the years. He told Sunday Sun that Nigerian men now prefer career to marriage. In his own words: “A lot of young men these days are in pursuit of money and career. The urge for them to get married is not there. They would rather make all the money first, get established before they think of marriage.”

Huge cost of marriage
Frank Onwordi, a businessman and seemingly a comfortable bachelor blames the lull on the downturn of the nation’s economy.
“The economy is bad and marriage is expensive. A man needs a roof over his head, big purse before embarking on marriage. You know how it is - buying this and that for traditional, court registry and the church marriage ceremonies. The whole thing is expensive and there’s no money,” he laments.

‘Over successful’
Bankole Adelani, a staff of one of the GSM providers told Sunday Sun that the real reason is that a bunch of the old spinsters are damn too successful. “Imagine the girl you love owning her own house, a big jeep plus other cars, has a steady job and flies in and out of the country. Man, the whole thing is intimidating. How can you measure up with such a high flier?” he asked and sighed deeply with resignation.

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Comments (3)

Okfold(Sobe, Edo, Nigeria)says...

I want the meaning of female owan name Ekeke (Edo state)

Toluwalase Samuel Olufemi(Ijebu, Ogun, Nigeria)says...

Authority belongs to God, once He decrees it is final and binding

Ikponmwosa Osamede(Edo, Nigeria)says...

Your meaning of Osamede is wrong. Osamede means God has given me a crown