Posted by By MIKE JIMOH on
Musa considers himself a late starter in his search for a spouse. He was in his late thirties when the idea of ever getting married crossed his mind. By then, he had finished university, was gainfully employed and lived in a good apartment somewhere in a choice part of Lagos.
Musa considers himself a late starter in his search for a spouse. He was in his late thirties when the idea of ever getting married crossed his mind. By then, he had finished university, was gainfully employed and lived in a good apartment somewhere in a choice part of Lagos.
His mother, a teacher, was already anxious for grandchildren, which she hoped Musa would give him as her first child. But it never got to be, for Musa was as interested in marriage as a celibate monk was in sex.
What he feared most was loosing his freedom. As a bachelor, Musa could go and come any time of the day, stay out and party with friends all day. But with a woman in the house, all that was sure to stop, and Musa never wanted to give up his freedom for anything, 'not for any woman."
It is not as if he dislikes women but he loves his freedom most. The mere thought of rushing home to a spouse everyday after work was simply too much for Musa to bear.
In fact, he was in and out of several relationships for more than four years, and two almost ended in marriage, starting with Amanda, a graduate of Mass Communication from the University of Lagos.
Amanda was tall, taller than Musa, had almost the same interest as Musa - particularly books and films - a good cook and a Christian, qualities that Musa says he admired first in Amanda. But there was a major drawback in Amanda: she was almost flat-assed, and if there is anything Musa likes in a woman, especially a potential partner for life, it is her backside.
'I like my woman with a moderate butt not like those Chinese backsides that you almost can't see let alone feel," Musa now recalls of his decision to terminate his relationship with Amanda. But it was Amanda herself who helped bring the relationship to an end, quicker than Musa expected, and to his delight.
'I remember very well it was my birthday and I invited her for a special outing for two of us. We had planned to go out at the close of work on that day. She never showed up, not even the following day or the day after. By the time Amanda came two weeks later, she wasn't even courteous enough to bring a card. This was in 1999 and birthday cards didn't cost more than N20 then," says Musa.
Rather, Amanda requested that Musa give her some money to be able to collect her dress, which at that time, was with her seamstress. 'I thought she was really, really selfish and I never wanted a parsimonious woman for a wife." Of course, the relationship ended because, in Musa's own words, he just didn't think he could live with a selfish woman for the rest of his life.
Next was Lucy. Lucy was not as tall as Amanda but what she lacked in height she more than made up in looks plus she had an ample backside, just the Musa likes it.
A graduate of Film School in Jos, she also was light in complexion with a well-defined mouth and lovely eyes. In short, Amanda was no match for Lucy in terms of looks and physique. As for cooking, she was excellent. From day one that Musa saw her, he knew this was a wife material. All Musa ever wanted in a woman, Lucy had it. Where Amanda was tight-fisted, Lucy was generous - but not to a fault.
She was also quite sociable. But years after Lucy changed completely.
She became a commited Christian or, what is known in popular parlance as a born again Christian. And so devoted she claimed to be that she foreclosed on sex afterwards, saying it was sinful before God.
But Musa thought all that was pretence from a woman he thought was going to settle down with. Of course, it was no surprise the relationship ended like Amanda's. Today, marriage is far from Musa's mind. 'Don't forget the problem of in-laws too."