Posted by By MOLLY KILETE on
When on Monday, February 18, Brigadier-General Solomon Giwa-Amu left his Abuja home in the morning for Jaji, in Kaduna to present a lecture, little did his wife of 15 years know that she would be seeing her husband for the very last time.
When on Monday, February 18, Brigadier-General Solomon Giwa-Amu left his Abuja home in the morning for Jaji, in Kaduna to present a lecture, little did his wife of 15 years know that she would be seeing her husband for the very last time.
Mrs. Giwa-Amu, a staff and research fellow of the National Institute for Pharmaceutical Research and Development (NIPRD), Abuja may not have had any premonition that something bad was going to occur. However, something happened to her in the office. At about few minutes past eight, when she wanted to leave her office for the cleaner to work on, Mrs. Amu fell flat on the ground. The cleaner and others, who saw her fall, came to her rescue. They helped her to her feet.
Even though Mrs. Amu said her mind kept running riot as to what could have caused the fall, the thought that her husband was in danger never crossed her mind. However, she said she remembered that her husband had traveled that morning and had not called to say whether or not he arrived safely. This was about 9am. She decided to call his line but could not get through.
In this interview, Mrs. Judith Giwa-Amu, talks about how she met and fell in love with her husband 21 years ago, at the University of Benin.
The marriage, which is blessed with four children - two boys and two girls - according to her, did not come easy, as it took them good five years to tie the nuptial knot owing to opposition from her family, especially her mother.
After spending 15 years in marriage with Solomon Giwa-Amu, before he met his untimely death, Judith says her husband gave her a life that can best be described as fairy tale, and that she has no regrets whatsoever.
She also says his untimely death, as far as she is concerned, is a just temporary separation as she hopes to see him again in the bosom of the Lord.
My husband was an excellent soldier
My husband was an excellent soldier. I am not just saying that because I am biased. I am saying that because it is true. His new job, as PRO was not what he wanted. He had actually resumed in Lagos as Commander of 82 Division at Kofo Abayomi and I remembered when he called me to say that the chief of army staff had asked him to be the Director, Army Public Relations. He expressed some reservations. I asked why and he said: ‘You know I am a very shy person and I really want some peace.' I told him that he had do it because if he didn't he would be seen to be arrogant. I told him to pray about it and he did and I am happy that he accepted it. He had a pet project which I pray the military will continue with.
A wonderful husband and father
He loved the youth. He was a wonderful father. He was strict with the children but very loving. He was a man that when the children were ill, he would fall ill. For me, he was my best friend. He gave me a marriage that was a fairy tale. When people talk about fairy tale marriage, it is not a lie. My marriage was a honeymoon cut short. It was a honeymoon cut short. My husband never troubled me one day and that is why when I hear people talking about the troubles they are having in their marriages, I will be thinking that maybe my husband has not really shown me his true colour, and thinking that he has been pretending, but that was just him.
He loved body language much and that was one of his greatest hobbies. If he entered a room and saw I was a little bit upset, he would ask me, who had upset you. And so whenever I am upset and he entered the room, I would quickly turn the other way because he was very sensitive.
He was a wonderful husband. He was wonderful to his family, he brought them together. You know he came from a very big family and he was like a common unifying factor. Everybody related with him, the old, the young. I am happy to have been married to him and I thank God for his life. As a matter of fact, I did not realize what I had. I guess this temporary separation has opened my eyes. Yes, it is temporal because I know we will meet again. So this temporal separation has helped to make me appreciate him even much more because the number of people that have come to this my house is unbelievable. The popular, the affluent, those that are not so popular, those that had worked with him or knew him by chance, everybody, old men are crying over his death. It is so humbling for me and he has challenged me. It is so important to be married to somebody and say you have learnt from him. I have learnt a lot from my husband. He taught me a lot from the way he related with people. He taught me to bear no evil against anyone.
Sometimes he vacated his bedroom in the village for visitors to sleep, and I would ask him if he was sure the people would not bring in something to harm him. He would just dismiss my fear with a wave of the hand, saying he did not give a damn as whatever bad thing anybody brought would turn to sand as soon as they pass the gate. He trusted everybody. He gave generously. He gave without thinking twice. My husband was a very wonderful man and I loved him very much and he loved me very much too. I thank God for giving him to me. We were 15 years old in marriage in May, while we had known ourselves for 21 years. The problem I have now is that the memories are too many. He was very wise. He practised his name, Solomon. He was a man full of joy, full of humour. Everybody knew him for his laughter and he always brought humour to any situation, nothing was so serious. He would find a way out. He would find a way to make me laugh and I guess that was what attracted me to him.
How we met
We were at the University of Benin at the same time. He graduated in 1988 with a degree in law, and I graduated with BSc in microbiology. One sunny day, I was walking from the Faculty of Engineering and then the way I walked, I didn't look around, I looked straight and apparently he was with a friend, Solomon Omoregie, who he had come to drop off in his posh car. He dropped Solomon and was admiring me and Solomon told him that I was his girlfriend's room mate. He asked me how I was. I told him I was fine and walked away. I did not know that while I was going, he kept looking at me as he was driving and actually hit his car and dented it on the light post.
Later that evening, his friend came to our room and told my friends and I how his friend dented his car because he was looking at a lady and we all laughed. He turned to me and said, ‘Judith, can you help me.' He said I was actually the lady his friend admired. As a principle, I was very strict and said I was not going to have anything to do with him. But after much pressure from his friend, I agreed to meet with him. I was in the lecture theater reading one day when he came, but could not approach me and I didn't know that he was there until he called his friend, who then came into the hall to say his friend had been around to see me. I told him I did not want to see him. Actually, many people didn't know that Solomon was a very shy person. I think the job he did as Army PRO forced shyness out of him.
We went outside to the car and I saw this young, fair officer gentleman. He came out of the car and you know, the first thing he said to me was, ‘are you looking for the dent?' We became friends, and eventually we started dating. He was a Captain then, and he proposed to me one and a half week after we started dating, but divine providence did not allow us to get married for five years. It was a bit of a cultural thing. I am Igbo. And he is Irrua, and the Igbo are very conservative and my parents said no. It took us five years, to the extent that my parents sent me out to London for my master's degree, just to separate us.
He did not give up. One day, while he was working with General Ike Nwachukwu as ADC, they had cause to travel to London. Before he came, you can't believe that he went to our house, met my mother and asked her if she had any message for me because he was traveling to London the next day. It took us five years because we wanted to get my parents' blessings and we waited it out. I had many suitors. He waited and that is why we both cherished our marriage and could not afford to joke with it. I say it again that I had a fairy tale marriage. When my husband was going anywhere, once he arrived, he called me to tell me to prepare his food because he did not eat outside. I always served his lunch, even when he was at the villa. When they close at odd hours, he would still make sure he took his meals. I always cooked his meal separately from the rest of the house and pack it in his food flask for his soldiers to take to him.
Premonition about his death?
Well, I will say I had a premonition about his death, but that was while I was at work. I am a microbiologist and a research fellow and work with NIPRD at Idu. I was in the office at about 8.30 in the morning. When I was trying to step out of my office for the cleaner to tidy up the office, in some strange way which I cannot understand, I just fell down. It was strange. How can I fall in my office? This is not the kind of office that you will fall down. I fell flat and I tried to see if it was the Internet cable that made me fall, but I saw nothing. I got up, my wrist pained me. My palm also and trousers were dusty as a result of the fall and the cleaner said ‘ah, madam, what happened' and I said I didn't know. I just fell down. My colleague also came because I usually got to the office first because my husband was very strict about promptness. I had to be like him.
I began to have deep pains and I was given a balm to apply, but then the pain would not stop. It was while I was massaging the pain that a friend called and screamed, and when I tried to ask her what the matter was, she said nothing and cut off the phone. I was afraid for her that maybe she had been attacked by robbers and tried to call her back but she did not pick the call. I decided to call her husband. He too refused to pick my call. I then tried to call my husband's best friend, John, and he told me he was on his way to Suleja and that he would call me as soon as he got there. It was at that point it dawned on me that my husband had traveled and had not called to say he arrived safely. I began to call his number, but it was not going through and I then took my colleague's phone to call John again and because he did not recognize the number, he sounded very shaky when he picked the call, but suddenly adjusted himself when he realized it was me and I asked him if he had heard from my husband. I told him that my husband traveled and had not called me. He then told me that my husband had an accident and that they were on their way to the State House clinic. As soon as he said that, my colleague took the phone and began to ask questions, and thereafter we headed for the State House clinic and the calls started coming in from people and all they were asking, was, ‘where are you, are you okay.' I did not suspect anything until my younger sister called to say my elder sister was on her way to Abuja and immediately it dawned on me that something terrible may have happened to him.
When we got to the State House clinic, my colleagues tried to lure me to come out of the car, but I refused, saying that I wanted to see when they were bringing my husband, but after much pleas, I agreed and followed them inside and they took my blood pressure and again started tricking me on how to get home and I followed them because I didn't want to be seen as stubborn. I got home, went upstairs and saw Mrs. Madaki and Mrs. Bassey already waiting for me. Mrs. Madaki started speaking in proverbs, while Mrs. Bassey hid her face, which was so swollen from crying. I asked them, if my husband was dead. Mrs. Madaki could not answer. I turned to Mrs. Bassey and asked her to look me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth. She told me the truth, and then we all started crying.
Incidentally, my husband and I were the ones that broke the news to her when her husband died in the C-130 air crash. I went to the mortuary Wednesday to see his body and it is true that he died. They did not lie to me.
What I will miss about him
Oh, that's a hard one. But I will miss his text messages because he always sent me text messages. I will miss his humour. If my husband was laughing out there, you would know that he was back. He was a very generous husband. He cared for everyone that came across his way. Those he knew and those he did not know. He was a very generous man. In fact, I will miss all that about him.
His dreams
He was so full of goodwill that he would want to do anything to help the youth, especially the underprivileged. He had this dream to cater for them because he believed that some people have the brains but don't have people to see them through school. He actually had some of such youths that he had given scholarship and told me about others he wanted to help. I intend to keep that dream alive. He believed that since these underprivileged youths have such potentials of becoming something great, they could be misdirected into drugs, armed robbery, terrorism and so many other negative things like that if nobody guided them.
He also had a passion for the Barrack Youth Foundation and was going about it with a passion and had approached a lot of organizations, who had indicated interest to be part of the programme. I just hope that the Army will keep that foundation alive. As for his children, he was not the kind of father that would force them into becoming something that he wanted them to become, he just wanted them to do very well. So I intend to keep it that way. He wanted excellence, but at the same time, he did not want his children to be cowards.
He wanted them to be bold and to speak out. He makes sure if anyone did something, he stood up to say I did it, I am sorry. He punished them when he had to punish them, yes he did, but he was one that actually punished with one hand and drew them close with the other hand. He was a fantastic father.