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We're obliged to the reader who alerted us to the agreeable news that Microsoft will compensate deserving 419 victims to the tune of £100,000 a head.

The email bringing these glad tidings is worth reproducing in full, and your attention is drawn in particular to the links kindly provided by the Lads from Lagos to back their pitch. It appears El Reg is required reading in the net cafes of Nigeria...

From: UN/MICROSOFT/FCC CYBERCRIME PROJECT <cybercrimescamvictimsproject@hotmail.com>
To:
Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:13:26 -0400
Subject: RE : PROOF IT TO US THAT YOU WERE SCAMMED AND RECEIVE COMPENSATION. FROM THE OFFICE OF THE JOINT VENTURE PROJECT ON CYBERCRIMES, FINANCIAL CRIMES COMMISSION (FCC), UNTIED NATIONS AND MICROSOFT CO. INTERNATIONAL.

United Nations Office for Project Services
Human Resources Management Service
United Nations, Head Office.
Palais des Nations
Avenue de la Paix 8 - 14, 1211.

Microsoft International Cyber crimes Unit.
Microsoft Corporation
Microsoft Way 98052, London.

Financial Crimes Commission
23412, London way, United Kingdom.

REF NUMBERS/CODE: 07754.
MINIMUM PAYMENT SUM: 100,000GBP

Sir/Madam, CYBERCRIME SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATION PROJECT

This is to bring to your notice that I have been delegated by the FCC, MICROSOFT INTERNATIONAL, President of Microsoft, representing Europe, Middle East Africa and Mr. Neil Holloway and United Nations directorate on security, Mr. Colin Munro , to collate details and make suitable arrangements to pay 250 scam victims the minimum sum of 100,000 GBP (One Hundred Thousand Pounds) each. In which we are to pay 100 victims in this second quarter. You have been listed for this payment as one of the scammed victims and beneficiaries to be paid this aforementioned amount, get back to us as soon as possible for proper assessment."

Nevertheless, note that, this payment will only be implemented based on your presentation/declaration of proven documents and very convincing storyline of how you made this payments (State the nature of scam e.g. lottery, next of kin, purchases, shopping, banking e.t.c, dates, location, mode of payments and amounts slips, if any, to the scams artists. That notwithstanding, this faithful recommendations, know that during the last U.N meetings held. It was alarmed by so many countries delegates in the meetings on the loss of funds by various individuals to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today. In other to compensate victims, the U.N Body in conjunction with the FCC and Microsoft is now paying 250 victims of these operators 100,000 GBP each in accordance with the U.N recommendations. Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems, the payments are to be supervised by the United Nations' Officials in Europe with the Barclays Bank or HSBC Bank as the corresponding paying banks. after which an investigation had been carried out by our own security operatives and due approval had been given by our delegated lawyers who are in charge of the cases in court. Then we will now instruct the banks to commence immediate payment procedures. You can receive your compensations payments via any of this options you Choose, DRAFT/CHEQUE PAYMENTS or WIRE TRANSFERS.

According to the number of applicants at hand, 150 Beneficiaries have been paid; half of the victims are from the United States of America (USA) and Canada. We still have 100 beneficiaries left to be paid the compensation of 100,000 GBP each. Your particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason what so ever as the U.S. secret service is already on trace of the other criminals. So keep it secret until they have all been apprehended. Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration as earlier stated above.

Therefore, the United Nation Cyber/Anti - crimes commission, Financial Crimes Commission (FCC), have combined effort with the Microsoft company, to alleviate and redeem the image and past wounds of foreigners and firms who were defrauded, scammed and abandoned by this syndicates to slight down our dignities to international communities. Many banks have been in bankruptcy today, Universal firms, Companies and individuals due to the activity of these hoodlums. However, investigation have shown that these people have dropped over 1,000,000 victims after collecting their money falsefuly, many committed suicide, homeless and others living by the grace of God. With the sanity presently at hand, we have over 1170 convicts at hand, 560 in prisons. While many are still awaiting trail while we still fetch for others who feel they are wise and hope that you will be our friend by giving us more information as per clue in apprehending them.

For Success Stories for verification, money recovered returned and you can visit:
http://www.slashnot.com/articles/category/microsoft/
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/01/29/dutch_police_arrest_52_email/
http://goliath.ecnext.com/coms2/gi_0198-72119/FBI-uses-convicted-criminal-to.html
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/08/21/romanian_id_fraud_clampdown/

Upon receipt of your reply, I shall feed you with further modalities as soon as I hear from you. I will send you by fax or E-mail the next step to take.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Terry Martins,
Head, Media & Publicity
FOR FCC/UN/MICROSOFT JOINT VENTURE PROJECT, UNITED KINGDOM

CC:
Mr. A.B. Cameron
Director of the Financial Intelligence Unit (NFIU)

CC:
Mr. Colin Munro CMG.
United Nations office, Delegation to the Organization for Security
and Cooperation in Europe, America, Asia and Africa.

CC:
NEIL HOLLOWAY
President Microsoft Europe, America, Asia, Middle East and Africa.

Terrific. Our correspondent quite rightly notes it's a shame to go to all that trouble and then use a Hotmail addy, but we nonetheless applaud this fine contribution to the advance fee fraud email genre. ®