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Posted by Salt Essien-Nelson on
Moms and dads! Porn shall not be our norm
Thursday, October 6th, 2016
It is sad and it is scary in equal proportions but I refuse to sit in a puddle fear worrying about it. I choose to act. Again, I invite you to do same.
Dear Mom, Dear Dad, the truth is that this battle should not really take us by surprise. Just take a look around you. Everywhere you go; there is soft porn all over the place.
You cannot watch the television for two hours straight without being assailed by some form of near nudity or the other; I doubt you can listen to the radio for one full day without something non PG-rated hitting you through the sound waves. Even some of the commercials are suggestive.
I downloaded a Parental Guide recently titled “Parenting the Internet Generation” and apparently, statistics show that, in the world we are living in, Porn is now the norm. My heart broke. Moms, Dads, it might be so in the world but we must not allow this idea become rooted in the minds of our children. As the Good Lord lives, porn will not become our norm, in Jesus Christ’s name! Amen! But we cannot just shout and pray about it. We must add works to our faith! We must act!
But what shall we do? Let me share my thoughts. I am no expert but here are some common-sense steps I believe we must take as Christian parents:
I was sharing with a sister of mine about an incident in my child’s school and how pornography seems to have invaded our schools. She said something that stuck with me. She said, we parents need to repent because if we want to be honest with ourselves, we have in one way or another, in our past, opened the door to this nonsense.
Just cast your mind back over your life especially during those reckless secondary and university days. Can you say, for a fact, that you had NO exposure to pornography? In one way or another, most of us had. True, we have been saved by grace and God has washed our past away BUT now that we are parents, it is imperative that we prayerfully shut that door against the enemy. So that the children’s’ teeth are not set on edge by the sour grapes their parents ate (this serves as fair warning for all future parents still ‘indulging’ in ‘the norm’)
Yes, then we need to pray. We need wisdom. We need grace. We need discernment. God knows ALL and we need his help to know what, how and when to tell our children about this matter and that brings me to our next action.
Pornography is propaganda and generates destructive myths about sexuality. So first and foremost, we must debunk the world’s views by talking to our young children about sex. This is not the time to be coy. Setting proper foundations for understanding Christian sexual ethic is a crucial step in protecting children from later sexual disorder. Frankly, no age is too young now. Have you been to parties lately? Do you see how some young children dance? Yes, if they can dance like that, then they can understand sex talk.
Don’t rely on schools; not even Sunday schools
Moms, Dads, it is OUR responsibility to prepare our children for this world. My experience is that the schools mostly want to hide their heads in the sand and pretend all is well. But I blame them not. I guess they do the best they can. Let them face the academics and Sunday school movie watching; let me partner with God to face my child’s emotional and spiritual wholeness. If I owned a school, I would invite people like Praise Fowowe to come in with solid ideas on how to curb this menace but that’s just me.
Screen media channels and no solitary internet and TV usage
Screen all media channels to ensure you block out all “triggers" that could serve as a gateway to exposure for your children. Children should only have access to the internet with adult supervision. Move the computer to the family room and make sure they cannot use any of their other internet enabled devices alone. Personally, I don’t buy the ‘TV in child’s room’ idea. Unless you have set the parental guidance and have control over what channels they can watch. Parental supervision and involvement is very important. Our children must know we are watching because we care
Screen your child’s friends!
This might seem tough but unless you are 100% sure of the core values of a child's family, you must take steps to protect yours. Ask questions. Right now, I have a VERY short list of homes my son can visit. I have to be confident the parents share my core values. I am tired of all this “friendly parenting”. Me, I am not my child’s friend o! I am his parent. And I am in charge! Trying to be cool mom and dad? I respectfully suggest you re-think your strategy. Our children need parents. They have enough friends already.
Pray, pray and pray some more!
Yes, pray again! God is Love and everything we are to do above must be done in Love. Our children must understand that we are coming from a place of Love. You can only do so by spending time with Love Himself. I love this prayer I found in the “Parenting the Internet Generation” guide and will wrap up with it:
Our Dear Father and Mighty God, we are venturing into enemy territory and so we ask you to be our strength and our shield (Psalm 28:7). The enemy is fighting hard to claim the hearts and minds of our kids through their technology. The Internet can be such a huge blessing. We can spread the Good News of Jesus Christ like never before!
But, like anything that is good, we know that evil wants to twist and turn it in a deadly direction. Lord, give us the wisdom and the perseverance to parent well in this digital age. We know that we can’t do it without you. Bless us now in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!
Moms, Dads, as the Lord lives, porn will not become our norm. Lailai!
(If you would like a PDF copy of the “Parenting the Internet Generation” guide, simply inbox me at [email protected])
Salt Essien-Nelson is a blogger/author based in Lagos, Nigeria. You can connect with her via her blog - The Salt Chronicles on Blogger where she is ‘seasoning’ the world around her one salt blog at a time or send her an e-mail via [email protected]
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