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Author: Gerald Chijioke Ogbuja
Posted to the web: 5/10/2009 1:41:31 AM

“Youths fade; love drops, the leaves of friendship fall; A motherâ's secret hope outlives them all.”-Oliver Holmes. 

The first motherâ's day celebration can be traced back to the spring celebration of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the mother of the gods. During the 1600â's, England celebrated a day called Mothering Sunday. Since after the first celebration the celebration has been taking placing on the 4th of Sunday of Lent (40 days period leading to Easter). During the era of Queen Victoria, mothering Sunday was not actively celebrated though she approved it. Because she approved it, she was named the great-grandmother of Europe who devoted herself to her family and her nine Children. In fact, mothering Sunday originally honored mothers of England. In the United States, motherâ's day was first suggested in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe (she wrote the words to the battle hymen of the republic) as a day dedicated to peace. Howe holds an organized motherâ's day meetings in Boston, every year on 2nd of June. In one of the meetings she challenged fellow women and said: Arise Christian women to this day. As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the beginning of war, let women on this day leave the duties of health and home to set out in the work of peace. Howeâ's conviction was simple- there is something in the experience of childbirth binding mothers of the world together into one family. A different account, believe that Anna Jarvis was credited as the woman who founded motherâ's day celebration. The Methodist church in her hometown, Grafton, Philadelphia was called the motherâ's day church, because Anna was an active member. Anna was the daughter of Anna Reeves who inspired her and who was a peacemaker after the war. Reeves organized mothers work day club in the 1850â's to better the lot of women. This club provided medicine for the poor, inspected milk for children, provided nursing care for the sick, and shelter for children with tuberculosis.

In 1907, Anna started the same kind of campaign in Philadelphia. She organized the first “motherâ's day” celebration in Grafton, West Virginia. She persuaded her motherâ's church to celebrate motherâ's day on the second Sunday of May. In a bid to achieve this purpose, she wrote persuasive letters to ministers, businessmen and politicians, requesting the establishment of a national motherâ's day. After her appeal was granted in 1911, motherâ's day became officially celebrated in every state in the United States. Annaâ's aim for womenâ's celebration was to make sure that the war against poverty and peacemaking which her mother started would not sink into oblivion. Based on the same aspiration, President Wilson Woodrow made a national holiday that was to be held each year on second of May. Following Woodrowâ's official pronouncement, motherâ's day celebration became an international ceremony observed in countries around the world. Today motherâ's day celebration is observed in Denmark, Finland, Italy, Turkey, Australia, France, India, China, Mexico and Belgium, African, Nigeria and beyond. Behind the motif of motherâ's day celebration is the struggle to gain voting rights for women, the cause of peace among nations of the world, the fight against poverty and the abuse of children. Womenâ's attire during this celebration has great significant meaning. The flowers that are given to mothers as gifts have significant meaning too. Carnations are motherâ's day flowers: Pink is worn for the sake of mothers who are alive. White is worn if she had died. Other Victorian recipes are motherâ's day Corsage worn during the celebration. Red indicates your mother is alive, white indicates you’re a bereaved mother. In Kaye Des’Ormeaux Poem, Motherâ's day Corsage is described thoughtfully: A motherâ's day Corsage has a meaning of its own. Red is to honor a living Mom... But white means she has gone... A Mom with yellow Corsage says she is always in grief. It means she has lost the child she cherishes. Her flowers make up a enduring wealth not to be forgotten. The question that challenges this celebration is: What can be said of moms who have no Corsage to wear? Does it mean their arms are empty? Does it mean their lives are bored? If your motherâ's day Corsage is adorned with flowers of white, go find a Mom with a Corsage...and make her motherâ's day right.

Motherâ's day therefore, is a time to celebrate the gift of womanhood and the vocation of a mother. It is a time of commemoration and celebration for Mothers. It is a time to honor mothers in a very special way for their invaluable services to mankind. It is a time to remember the unconditional love of mothers to their children and families. It is a time to think about the unnecessary tears that we caused them to shed. It is a time to thank mothers for being the chauffeur that took us to places where we wanted to be. It is a time to acknowledge them for being our laundress, housekeepers, nurses, interior decorators, chauffeurs, purchasing agents, cooks, and counselors. Motherâ's day is one of the most important celebrations for mothers. Reason is because mothers are outstanding friend we have. The celebration calls for what constitutes the basic quality of mothers such: good behavior, respect, humility, trust, patience, kindness, love, caring, sincerity, friendliness, fidelity, and grace to their husband.  Grace-filled mothers have self-worth and Godâ's love in them and are not influenced by the wrong behavior of their husband nor the actions of their children. Vonderen (1992) puts it rightly: if our sense of well-being and value come from the behavior of another person instead of God, we will always be giving off messages that say to others: you’d better perform right. The essential pride of mothers comes from God. The divine value from within makes them real mothers.

Mothers are true family friends because they are always there when we are undergoing trials or when heavy burden fall upon us; when diversity takes place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us desert us when trouble thicken around us; still will they cling to us, and endeavor by their kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  Motherâ's day should be a day mothers should submit themselves to the total commitment to their families with regard to the joy and purpose of marriage. Committed mothers do not consider the fault of their husband (1Cor.7:1-5, Col.3:12-19, Gal.6:9). They do not listen to those who speak ill of their marriages or tell bad story about their husband. They disengage from speaking or listening to gossip themselves. Scripture adds that such women never allow strangers into their lives (Rom.16:17-20, Heb.1:9, 1Pet.2:11, Gal.5:19). Such mothers do not compare their husband with other men whether rich or poor, handsome or ugly, they never allow the devil into their family (Gen.2:23-24; 2:18-25; Eph. 4:26-27).

 MOTHER’S DAY: A CELEBRATION OF LIFE, FAMILY AND MOTHERHOOD

“Visit Mom! a great idea for motherâ's day in a family party reunion. Have a family picnic, brunch, or barbeque with mom as the guest of honor. For most moms, the best motherâ's day ideas involve spending time with them.”_unanimous

 

 

Eve was the first mother of human creation while Adam her husband was the first father of the human race. As first mother of humanity, Eve did not receive gifts of flowers from her children in celebration of the first motherâ's day. Eve never complained to Adam on this issue because she was preoccupied with her dialogue with the serpent concerning the distinction between forbidden fruits and the fruits that are not. She was preoccupied in finding out the fruits that are not worthy for the family to eat. As first human creation, Eve dedicated her life to the garden and the type of fruits Adam would love to eat on his return from hunting and food gathering.  At the end of this long dialogue, the serpent deceived her and she ate of the forbidden fruit. After she ate of the fruit, she was deceived, and human sufferings and family drama began. Her husband was deceived too and the first human family lost its eternal beauty. After our first couples ate of the forbidden fruits sin took over holiness and motherhood lost its dignity. The Virgin Mary became the new Eve to purify human family and to bring back motherhood to a higher status.

The virgin mother defines the second Archetype. She defines the new family and motherhood. The new definition has today influenced ancient and modern families. However, in matri-focal societies, grandmothers are the virgin mother raising children whether male, female, gay, and straight, homosexuals etc.  Base on experience and textbook knowledge, we know that grandmothers spent more quality time with grand kids than their own biological children. Grandmothers always develop feelings of ownership over grandchildren. Such feelings are very much stronger than feelings they have for their own daughters. Till today, research has not been able to explain the reasons for “grandmamma-grand-child bond.” Based on limited literature on this issue, one would conclude that grand-children would easily buy gifts and take grandmothers to dinner to celebrate motherâ's day. On one hand, Grand-children would love to drive grand mammas to church and back.  They would love to take family members to fishing and hunting in the woods. They would love to take the time to visit them wherever they are: Nursing homes, assisted living, maternity homes, hospitals etc.  Rabinowitz (2008) calls this structural axis of family bonding where mother-son affiliation continues in the grand-mother-grand-child relationship. Mothers who lack affiliation or who fails to bond with grand-children does not fully realize their motherhood in any multifocal household.

In another framework, the same virgin mother was called the martyr mother. Martyr mothers celebrate motherâ's days with little or no gifts from their husband and sons. Women who despise men receive no gifts or appreciation from men during festivals and celebrations. Women who exhibit these qualities radically despise men. They suffer very often because they have not let their sons leave home very early. However, in reciprocal husband-wife system, husbands are known as providers, protectors who provide guidance. They are the one whom society calls the father. On one hand, martyr mothers expect that their sons leave home in search for identity and amusement with other women. And after they are gone, they hardly come back for family reunion or motherâ's day celebration. Studies have shown that separation of this kind have remained a deep concern for families of martyr mothers. Separation so to speak means that women expel men from home to fend for themselves as adults (Rabinowitz, 2008).They depart from home without taking any household belongings. And After their departure, women who represent symbol and reality at home and in whose womb the family originates, remains at home with everything inside including children celebrating the living, the dead, the new born, the feast and family reunion (Rabinowitz, 2005).

Of all the rights exercised by Eve and Mary, the greatest of them is that they are mothers. Despite the fact that they are women, Rice (2008) note that mothers leave something mysterious in the hearts of men and children. They leave something graceful in the family and society. The reason is because they are reservoir of love, the soul of family relation. There are many colloquial or familiar terms for mothers. The Spanish and African word for mother is mama. In North America, the family term is mom or mommy. Similar pronunciation applies such as mama in Polish and Slovak, mama in mandarin Chinese, mama in Czech, Mama in French, Mamma in Italian, or mae in Portuguese. Several shades of thought have described motherâ's day ceremony as a celebration of family perpetuity (Wikipedia, free encyclopedia). Motherâ's day celebration is a time to celebrate the filial relationship of extended kin like aunts, cousin from a deep family relation to a loose family disintegration. It is a time to re-revalue and confront unacceptable relationships that are caught up within family web-network and interlocking functions and reciprocities. Celebration of this nature is a time for mothers and their families to reframe from choosing whom to interact with while avoiding those they don’t want in their lives. It is time for mothers to intensify willingness to sacrifice desires and ambitions for their own families and extended relations. It is a time for shared family rituals-holiday celebrations, christenings, confirmations, bar mitzvahs, graduations, weddings, funerals, and wakes. These celebrations are part of the ongoing family interaction patterns that helps families adapt to change rather than struggle to old norms. To celebrate motherâ's day is to reflect on those family images that range from nurturing, empathetic, involved, stifling, instructive and loving. Motherâ's day celebration is a time to reflect on the values of unconditional ties, undying and underestimated love to the family and children. An unconditional tie however forces mothers to embrace the overwhelming responsibility of nature, family and society. Besides cooking, cleaning, feeding is the feminine motivation by which such sacrifices are made possible in societies like Africa that is governed by nature. In Western societies however, cooking family meals has been replaced by fast-food restaurants which leaves no room for healthy living. Despite the above distinctions, (cooking for family/feeding family with fast food) mothers are great gift to the family and mankind.

In her goodwill message to women in Ebony magazine, Linda Rice (2008) reechoed unequivocally that no one has done so much for so many with such grace than mothers. She affirmed strongly that there are nothing like mothers in the family. She argued that mothers are selfless, patient, resilient, strong and compassionate, loving and protective, generous and courageous. On the contrary, there are other qualities that make every woman a mother. These qualities include: emotional and physical intensity of the birth process, the devastation of miscarriage and infertility, or the choices to have or not to have children. Other qualities include: good behavior, humility, trust, kindness, fidelity, caring, loving, sincerity, friendliness and Godliness. Sequel to these compliments, mothers are nurturers and a confidante, family leaders and a family queens. In every age, culture and society, mothers have always dedicated themselves and their resources and have proved to be shoulders to cry on to and reservoir of hope and inspiration for families. Such dedication according to Rice are what informs their innate capacity to give of themselves, not hesitating to make a sacrifice or make life better for family and others who need to be uplifted.

I must not fail to submit that the celebration of motherhood and family should not stop in the month of May. This celebration should continue to the remaining months of the year. Motherâ's day celebration should be a daily celebration because mothers form the matrix of family foundation. Mothers enable and disable family systems where family members develop individual identities but nevertheless remain attached to the family group, which in turn maintains an evolving identity and collective image of its own (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2004). Motherâ's day celebration is the time to repair family wounds in response to distress, threat, trauma, or crisis (Walsh, 1998). It is time to forgive those who have wronged you in the past who are sincerely remorseful. Study has shown that women who are forgiving tend to be happier and more stable than women who do not. They tend to be more flexible in seeking solutions to problems, more purposeful in pursuing satisfactions, more adaptive to changing conditions, and better able to recover from misfortune or adversity than other families (Aponte, 1994a; 1999).

 

 

Motherâ's Day Poem

 

The family

Is like a garden

With joy

Fall all to share,

With tender, growing blossoms

That thrives on love

And care,

And when

The flowers are gathered

For A very special day,

They make

A bright and beautiful

Happy bouquet

                      - Mary Loberg

 

In conclusion, Motherâ's day is about love in the family. Motherâ's day is about showing love to the church and the world. It is a call to remain unselfish and make deep devotion and sacrifices. It is a time of forgiving and forsaking and a time to heel wounds of family disagreement. Helen Steiner Rice summarized motherâ's day in an eulogy of poetic love:

 

A motherâ's love is something

That no one can explain,

It is made of deep devotion

And of sacrifice and pain

 

It is endless and unselfish

And enduring come what may

For nothing can destroy it

Or take that love away…

 

It is patient and forgiving

When all others are forsaking,

And it never fails or fathers

Even though the heart is breaking…

 

It believes beyond believing

When the world around condemns,

And it glows with all the beauty

Of the rarest, brightest gems

 

It is far beyond defining,

It defies all expectation,

And it still remains secret

Like the mysterious creation…

 

A many splendorous miracle,

Man cannot understand

And another wondrous evidence

Of Godâ's tender guiding hand.