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Author: Dr Johnson F Odesola
Posted to the web: 9/4/2006 4:14:45 PM

The floor manager passed by the boardroom door and faintly heard it. He rushed to tell ten other, with instructions that they shouldn’t tell anybody. They told ten others, also emphasizing that this was top secret and nobody else should know.

By mid day the rumour had spread to all two hundred employees and tension was high. There was a potentially explosive silence, as everybody tried to concentrate on nothing, waiting for some announcement. The day came to an end and the rumour was neither confirmed nor dispelled.

The next day all employees came rather early to the office. The bosses, who are normally punctual, found all staff in the office suspiciously busy. There were no excuse of minibuses breaking down or somebody being delayed because of a running stomach.

I entered my office feeling guilt for being late but when I checked the time it was not yet 8:00 am. I was hardly in my office for fifteen minutes when one of the guards brought me some green maize as a “gift”. He wanted to share with me the good harvest. I could see the maize was harvested prematurely but thanked him anyway.

He was barely out of my office when another employee brought in two live chickens, another gift. I parted with another “thank you” still unable to pinpoint the occasion befitting the gift presentation. Because the chickens made too much noise, I had to rush out  and drop them home.

When I came back I found a group of employees whispering to each other intensely. They were so engrossed in the discussion they didn’t notice my presence. I walked past and met two other employees who stared at me blankly.

I smiled at them and they also tried to do the same but anciently was written all over. I entered my office and found another employee waiting for me with another gift – chitenje. I could sense my adrenalin levels rising. I fought back, trying to act normal. I had to assess the bizarre events calmly. I am a senior manager.

Then, in came the IT manager with an ancient report. He requested my audience. He is a valuable employee and I was ready to give him my undivided attention. He dithered, was extremely flustered, and ended up stuttering. Eventually, he admitted that it was not the report that brought him to my office.

As he mumbled something, the floor manager, who also makes tea for all of us, walked in with a cup of tea form. He tried to place the cup on my desk but his hands shook so much so that the cup slipped and fell, spilling all the tea. By then the IT manager had slipped out quietly.

When the floor manager came back to clean the mess, he told me he was worried about what was going on. Addressing me with a respectful “Sir” although I know I am a “madam” he continued to say that the rumour had affected everybody and something had to be done quickly. He did not divulge the rumour and suggested I find out for myself.

When the personnel officer walked in to my office smiling, it was like a breath of fresh air. He had managed to trace the rumour to the cheeky flora manager, who had heard the board members discussing something that sounded like “RE……MENT”. With his equally witty mates, they filled in the missing letters and ended up with retrenchment. Why couldn’t it have been recruitment? Employees always think about worst-case scenarios.

Johnson Odesola (PhD) is from Osun State, a Regional Coordinator in the Redeemed Christian Church of God and an associate Professor of Divinity with Trinity International University. He is presently a missionary in Southern Africa based in Zambia