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Author: Okah Ewah Edede
Posted to the web: 2/21/2006 6:53:30 AM

THE PRINCIPLES OF ‘CHOP CHOP POLITICS

Many commentators have written and expressed their perception on the theatre of the absurd which was acted out in Ibadan the capital Oyo State. All the commentaries so far have been engrossed on the worrisome issues of constitutionality and legality though these are salient issues, this writer believes that the crux of the whole ‘amala’ agro is but the natural boomerang effect of voodoo politics which was made manifest in the elections of 2003.

   The events in Oyo State should not be seen as an isolate case; rather, it should be viewed as the pathological strain of the endemic malady which has been ravaging Nigerian politics. Ibadan just happens to be one of those weaker and unfortunate components of the polity where the full effects of holocaust politics have made itself manifest. Anambra also happens to be another entity which is being ravaged by this disease but luckily for her, her anti-bodies seem to be winning the battle against the dreaded virus. To really understand the nature of this plague, we need to trace its origin and from hence we may be able to proffer a panacea for it.

   The whole brouhaha started during the preliminaries to the 2003 elections; when Mafioso politicians introduced ‘juju’ politics; first, they started with the voodoo registration of political parties. Mercenaries from Africa’s monolith super party were sent on clandestine missions of floating spurious opposition political parties. This heralded the emergence of mercantile sycophant and errand boys operating under the decoy of dummy opposition political aspirants and candidates. Though these charlatans were in the opposition, they were covertly working for the supremacy of Africa’s mammoth political party; their aim was absolutism!

   In some isolated cases, due to a fluke of human error and calculations, a certain unwanted aspirant happens to emerge against all odds as the flag bearer of this mammoth political party, political ‘Last Dons’ and godfathers will crawl out of the woodworks and wave their magic wands and in a fashion that have continued to defile all known and acceptable ethical principles, the apparatus and agents of Africa’s emerging monolith political party will turn against their side and, in a bizarre twist, work for the victory of the opposition candidate. After all, the flag bearer of the spurious opposition happens to be a bona fide member of the mammoth ruling party, while the ruling party candidate just happens to be one damn lucky foreigner who they can’t fathom how he got to become their flag bearer! Lose he must. Losing that slot to the opposition is no big deal and does not distort the grand scheme toward absolutism!

   After the juju elections of 2003, the voodoo political ‘Last Dons’ and godfathers decided to cocoon themselves in their fortresses to share ‘akpu’ and ‘amala’ with their elected godsons and acolytes. But unfortunately for them some of these protégés, wanting to assert their newfound positions, refused to implement to the fullest the sharing formulas of the ‘akpu’ and ‘amala’. These betrayals by the protégés caused a thunderous roar to be heard in Molete and Akwa. The polity vibrated with coups and counter coups. Forget all this talk about constitutionality, legality and morality, in juju politics there are no conventional rules; the name of the game is jungle law!

   The principles of ‘chop chop’ politics holds that: the strongest pummels the strong into comatose while the weak is battered into oblivion and buried alive! Political Mafioso Last Dons, godfathers, warlords and gang lords are now constitution of Nigeria, while kangaroo judges, a raped and desecrated judiciary now stand guide as the interpreter of this sacrilegious constitution! The legislators are enfant terrible: they are neither here or there, the highest bidder gets to receive their service. They are the new merchants of Venice!

   Well, all things worketh for good for the magicians of Nigerian Politics. 2007 is coming and we shall experience the apocalyptic fight of the holocaust solution. Start praying earnestly and profoundly.